The first week back: what actually matters
Published 31 August 2026
The first week back: what actually matters
Published 31 August 2026
The short version
- The first week is about settling, not learning. Nobody is behind yet.
- Tiredness in week one is normal, and it is much worse than parents expect.
- If something is worrying you, say it now. September is the cheapest month to raise anything.
Why is my child so tired?
Because school is exhausting in a way that is easy to underestimate.
A school day is six hours of concentrating, sitting still, following instructions, and getting along with thirty other people. Most adults would find that hard. Children have been doing roughly none of it for six weeks.
Expect short tempers, tears over nothing, and falling asleep on the sofa at five o'clock. This is normal and it usually settles within a fortnight.
What helps: an earlier bedtime than you think, food as soon as they get in, and low expectations of the evening. Homework in week one is not worth a fight.
Should I be asking about their day?
Yes, but not like that.
"How was school?" gets "fine" from almost every child in the country. It is too big a question.
Smaller ones work better:
- Who did you sit with at lunch?
- What was the funniest thing that happened?
- What was the worst bit?
- Did anyone get told off? (Children love this one)
And a useful trick: ask while doing something else. In the car, walking home, making tea. Face to face feels like an interview.
What if they do not want to go?
Very common in the first fortnight, and usually not a crisis.
New classroom, new teacher, sometimes new friendship groups. A child who was completely fine in July can be wobbly in September, and that does not mean anything is wrong.
Things that help:
- Keep the goodbye short. A long lingering goodbye makes it worse, not better. It feels wrong and it works.
- Be matter-of-fact. Children read your face. If you look worried, they conclude there is something to worry about.
- Tell the teacher. They can keep an eye out, sit them with a friend, and give you a proper report at the end of the day.
If it is still happening after a few weeks, or your child is genuinely distressed rather than reluctant, that is worth a proper conversation with the school rather than a chat at the gate.
The thing to do this month
Raise anything you are worried about now.
September is the cheapest month for a conversation with a teacher. Nothing has gone wrong yet, no pattern has set in, and the teacher is actively building a picture of your child. A quiet word now lands as helpful information. The same word in February lands as a complaint.
Worth mentioning:
- anything that happened over the summer at home
- reading or maths they found hard last year
- friendships that were difficult
- anything medical, however minor it seems
- if English is not the language you speak at home
You do not need a meeting. A note in the reading record or two minutes at pick-up is usually enough to start with.
What about getting back into reading?
Gently, and this week is not the week.
Most schools take a week or two to sort out reading books, groups and levels. If your child comes home with nothing, that is normal and not a sign of anything.
What you can do in the meantime costs nothing: read to them. Ten minutes, something they enjoy, no questions afterwards. It gets the habit back without making it a task in a week they are already flattened.
Our guide on [reading with a child who can already read] goes into what that looks like once term settles.
And the practical bits
The first week is when you find out what does not work.
- Shoes. If they cannot fasten them alone, you will hear about it after PE.
- Lunch box. If it needs adult fingers, it is the wrong lunch box.
- Labels. Everything. It all ends up in one pile by Friday.
- The bag by the door. Reading book, water bottle, letter that needs signing. Set the habit in week one and it holds for the year.
If any of that is already a problem, our guide on [starting school] has the version worth reading before September rather than during it.
What not to do
Do not compare. Not to a sibling, not to the child next door, not to where you think they should be. Children in the same class are up to a year apart in age and much further apart in development.
Do not start a routine you cannot keep. Twenty minutes of reading and spellings every night sounds great on 1 September. If it collapses by October it teaches your child that these things are optional. Five minutes you actually do beats twenty you plan.
Do not panic about the summer. Yes, some things get rusty over six weeks. Teachers know this and plan for it. It comes back fast.
Where this comes from
- Supporting a smooth transition into reception, Department for Education, published 16 April 2026, for the settling-in and independence points. ⚠️ It is written for schools and nurseries, not parents.
⚠️ The rest of this post is our own advice, and we would rather say so than imply otherwise.
Contains public sector information licensed under the Open Government Licence v3.0.